My Decision
I wrote this in an e-mail to Eric just now, but here's the decision:
Sooooo, I chose JPL. :-) Basically, Orbital was too familiar and some place where I might go later in my career. It had a lot of good opportunities, hands-on hardware, great pay, etc., but I wasn't ready to move back to DC quite yet, even though it'd be nice to be near family.
Lockheed in Denver could have been a cool job, but I have a feeling it could be really frustrating or boring, and there's a lot of unknowns with the job. It also would have been nice to live in Denver, and I'm sure people would have liked to come visit, but I don't think it's the best option.
JPL should be a fun job with a lot of different aspects of work, and I'll get to work some on Constellation as well as robotic missions. And I'll work part-time for the Air Force in a Think Tank. I loved JPL's atmosphere and the people, so I'm excited to go back. I'm nervous about living in the LA area, but here comes the sun!!
Pro/Con
Any thoughts are GREATLY appreciated. I have to decide by Jan 29th or 30th! And let's do a vote - send me your opinion (with your name so you don't vote twice!) and the reason. And maybe I'll let YOU decide. :-)
JPL
Pro
o JPL is very well-renown
o Interesting and fun work in a good environment
o Little overtime
o Get to do exploration systems (Constellation) and classified work in one company. Also get to do a lot of different tasks at once
o Pasadena is outside of the city
Con
o Would be living in the LA area
o Far from family on east coast
o Cubicles
o No hands-on hardware work
LM Denver
Pro
o Lots of interesting work at the site - support to JPL for many of their interplanetary missions, national security spacecraft, and the new CEV design
o Ability to move around a lot in the company (one option is through rotation/leadership programs)
o About 1-2 hours away from great skiing
o Good area for young professionals
o Working on the CEV would be cool
Con
o I don’t know exactly what I would be doing before I accept the job, but it would be in systems engineering/interface or analysis
o Far from family on east coast
o Cubicles
o Little to no hands-on hardware work
Orbital
Pro
o Smaller company, so you get more exposure to different projects and managers
o Shorter mission timeframes (2-3 years)
o Can be involved in the whole life cycle of a project, meaning concept to operating it on orbit
o Can get hands on hardware and build it or test it in the clean room with the techs
o Involved in national security, space science, launch vehicles, Technology demonstration projects, etc.
o Own or shared office
o Near family and friends on East Coast
Con
o Could be a lot of high-level systems engineering (less exciting stuff)
o Would be moving right back to DC
o Some overtime required, but usually compensated for it
Northrop
Pro
o Technical work that’s challenging and covers programming, aerospace, math, etc.
o Ability to move around a lot in the company (one option is through rotation programs)
o NG involved in national security, space science, launch vehicles, etc.
o Nice to live near the beach and can rent not far from work
Con
o Harder to work a project beginning to end because of the length
o Would be living in the LA area
o Not sure if I’d like the project topic areas as much
o No hands-on hardware work to start (in modeling and sim)
BAH
Pro
o Work with a bunch of different companies doing technical work
o Cutting edge work gives insights into leading edge technologies and programs and where people are having trouble (help with PhD maybe?)
o Near family and friends on East Coast
Con
o Would not “own” the project
o No hands-on hardware work
o Would be moving right back to DC
o Not as cool as Orbital
Aerospace
Pro
o Challenging and interesting projects
o I know the group and I get along and would like it
o Own or shared office
o Near family and friends on East Coast
Con
o Not much hardware in the company
o Not a new experience
o Would be moving right back to DC
o Not as cool as Orbital
And I've also eliminated Lockheed Sunnyvale, so I need to call them today to reject the offer...
1 down...
7 to go. I rejected APL last night. They wanted me to do missile defense, which I'm sure would be interesting, but I would like to focus more on satellite development. So now I have 7 more job offers to decide between.
And thanks Jen. We should have a 207 reunion this summer or something. :-)
Another resolution
Don't be afraid to spend money!
And, this was recently demonstrated by me paying to go on 2 ski trips this year. Go me!
Resolutions and an Interesting Article
So I need to make some New Year's Resolutions. Here are my goals:
Take some nights and weekends to relax and not think (or worry) about work.
Do things that make me happy.
Don't be afraid to say no.
Don't worry about my decision to not get a PhD now - just enjoy this last semester and look forward to work.
These are all things that are affecting me now, but I've realized they are things I really do need to work on in general. This whole PhD decision process really did teach me a few things about myself.
In other news, Abbott sent out
this article about highly intelligent high schools, and I like the line:
"Super-achievers aren't just bright; they crave that distinction."
It's exactly what I've been thinking about and talking about in my last blog. It's so true here at MIT, and we have to remember that we are really smart (and I know this sounds conceited, but oh well). And you know, even if we climb to the top of the education ladder, we won't be distinct - there are others with PhDs. So I'm comfortable with my decision, and I'm much happier than I've been in a while.
A Decision?
So last night was the first time I really freaked out about this decision. I think the fact that it's January and I have yet to figure out what I want to do scares me. I've figured out some things I'm surprised that I am willing to admit about myself, though, and I think they're telling.
I know what I want to do, but I want to be comfortable with what I want to do. You ready for it? Well, I want to take a job that will maybe help me figure out what I would want to get a PhD in, and then maybe I will return to school later to get a PhD. And I want to be comfortable with that decision. Now here are my thoughts about how to be comfortable with that:
I realized that I only want a PhD because of the image (and respect and confidence) I think people with PhDs get. I also think I should get a PhD because that's what people expect me to do, and they would be disappointed in me if I don't get a PhD. And, the real kicker, is that I've never thought I was smart, so having a PhD will help to convince people that I am smart and will prove that I am better somehow. All of this may lead to regret of not getting a PhD. Something is broken in my head, and I'll think I am a quitter or a failure if I stop now.
So my problem? Apparently self esteem and confidence. My parents and my awesome friend Dan helped me these last two days in realizing that people do think I'm amazing and a good aerospace engineer, so I shouldn't worry about that. Sarah and Dr. Braun both said that no one cares in industry unless you want to do research or teach, but neither of those have ever really interested me all that much. I need to believe, though, that I am fully capable of, well, kicking butt in the workplace, and no "little piece of paper", as Dan called it, can determine my self-worth. I should also not worry that my friends or professors will think I'm a quitter. This is my choice, and I'm smart no matter what.
My parents point out that I need to do what makes me happy. And when faced with the decision based on that, the jobs excite me more, and I think I would be happy taking a job. Not to be dramatic, but this life is really too short to waste time doing things that won't make us happy. Getting a PhD could end up being a huge waste of time for me, and I would be doing it just for the sake of having 'Dr.' in front of my name. And, I know it would be hard, but going back to school is always an option. As I mentioned, I really like the idea of finding out my passion and getting a PhD later, if that's what I need.
The other big issue is motivation. I suppose I know that I am smart enough to do the PhD, but will it really be all that enjoyable if I'm not really excited about what I'm working on? The fear of regret and the desire to be called "Dr. Biff" isn't enough to get through the 3-4 years of tough times necessary to get a PhD. Or is it? Rationally, probably not.
I also need to think out of the MIT bubble. Both Sarah and Scott mentioned that we're surrounded by over-achievers, and therefore we are also motivated by them. Of course I've always been an over-achiever, but I need to stop, take a look around, and see what the world is really like.
This post has kind of jumped around, and congratulations if you made it this far. Now it's time to relax, enjoy my last night at home in VA, and be comfortable with the fact that it's ok not to get a PhD... for now. :-)
