Would you like to dance around the world with me?

Home, House Hunting, and Heartstrings

A quick recap of where I've been before I get to the feeeeeelings.

After a good 4th of July in small-town New Hampshire and amazing fireworks at the MIT boathouse, I left for Virginia the next day. After hanging out with my parents Thursday, I left Friday for Delaware for my brother's fiancee's (Kristin's) bachelorette party. I had some awesome luck at the outlets (which is amazing for me since they have petite Ann Taylor on clearance!), then I spent the evening girl-talking with some hilarious ladies. I learned a little too much than I wanted to know about my future sister-in-law, but it was still great to spend some time with her.
The next morning I left for Maryland and a friend from my lab's wedding. After that, I went to DC to have dinner with Lindsay and her friends from grad school, then we headed off to VA to hang out with Leo. We played some excellent Mike's pong, even though they made fun of me for my low tolerance. I'd have to say I had an excellent time there. :-)
And finally, the next day (Sunday), I went to Richmond for Rebekah's wine tasting. It was so great to see her again after so long and get to hang out with her friends and family. We had a blast with wine, trivial pursuit, and this little grabby claw thing that you had to be there to enjoy. In total, I was in 4 states and the District of Columbia in 4 days!

I guess that's not all, because Tuesday I left with my parents for LA. After our 6 am flight out was canceled, we finally made it to LA early afternoon, which I guess wasn't too bad. We spent a number of days looking for apartments, and after I looked at pretty much everything there was in downtown Pasadena, I picked this beauty. So come visit!

I don't quite know what to say about those pesky things called feelings, so how about a song that I can't get out of my head and is so true:
One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great
He tastes like you only sweeter
(Fall Out Boy)

It's taking me a while to write this because I had to just listen to the song (you can at the link above).

But it's true that it keeps being one more night, and I do appreciate the memories. He made for an interesting but frustrating year, and I hope we both learned from it. I hope he learned that there are reasons to take time off of work, and you have to make time for friends because you need them. And I hope I learned that I deserve someone who's genuinely interested in me, even if only for a short amount of time.

But honestly, what was I thinking stringing myself along for such vain reasons. Ok, so he's hot, but is that worth dating someone on and off for a year? I thought I didn't want to be in a serious relationship since I knew I was moving, but it comes down to the fact that I ended up caring too much, and he didn't. There is nothing I can do to change that, but I almost feel like that was my failure. I have to keep telling myself that it's him and not me. As Lindsay put it, and I am learning:
"he was hot
but you were not a priority
therefore
you deserve better"

It's funny though because I still feel badly about writing this blog because I don't want to hurt him. But I don't even think he reads my blogs, and he knows everything I'm writing anyways. He is a nice person who cares at least a little and sort of ended things when he realized we were feeling differently. But then there was one more time. And another. I just hope he realizes that there is more to life than the lab, and I hope another girl is good enough in his mind to teach him that.

posted by Biff @ 2:40 PM